One of the most challenging obstacles in life is not learning how to give love—many of us are already adept at that—but how to receive it.
For countless people, the ability to open themselves up to love is hindered, not by external forces but by internal barriers that have built up over the years.
These barriers are often invisible, but they keep us isolated from experiencing love in its fullest form.
It’s not that we don’t desire love, but rather that we don’t believe we’re truly deserving of it. This core issue is one of the hardest lessons to confront and overcome.
But through forgiveness, we can break free of this internal prison and allow love to flow both in and out.
Giving Love is Easier than Receiving It
Throughout life, we are taught the virtues of giving love—how to show care, offer affection, and be there for others.
For many, this comes naturally. We form relationships, express love to our families, friends, and partners, and provide support in times of need.
But when the tables turn, and we are on the receiving end of love, something often goes awry. Many people feel uncomfortable, even unworthy, when someone tries to love them. Compliments are brushed off. Acts of kindness are met with skepticism.
Affection is doubted, as if there must be a hidden agenda.
Why is this?
The problem lies in a deep-seated inability to accept love.
Receiving love, for many, is difficult because they don’t believe they deserve it.
And where does this belief stem from?
Often, it is rooted in wounds from the past, particularly from those closest to us—our parents.
The Roadblock: Unhealed Wounds from the Past
Parents are our first teachers when it comes to love.
Our relationships with them shape how we view love, trust, and self-worth. For those who experienced neglect, criticism, emotional unavailability, or abandonment, the idea of being loved freely and unconditionally can feel foreign, even suspicious.
It’s not that these individuals are incapable of giving love—they often give it in abundance.
But they struggle to accept it.
Somewhere along the line, they’ve internalized the belief that they are not worthy of love. These unhealed wounds manifest as self-doubt and a belief that any love offered to them is not genuine or earned.
This can create a destructive cycle where love is given out freely to others, but when it returns, it hits a wall. It’s not received in the same way because of unresolved pain.
The key to breaking this cycle lies in forgiveness.
Forgiveness: The Key to Opening Your Heart
Forgiveness is the most powerful tool in healing and learning to receive love.
The first step is to confront and forgive those who may have hurt you, particularly your parents or caregivers.
They may have made mistakes, but holding on to those grievances prevents healing.
Understand that your parents, like all of us, were flawed humans, doing the best they could with the tools they had.
Forgiving them doesn’t mean excusing their behavior, but it means releasing the power that those past wounds have over your life.
By forgiving them, you can begin to release the guilt, anger, and resentment that have built up in your heart.
Once you have forgiven others, the next and perhaps most important step is to forgive yourself.
This part is crucial.
Your ability to receive love is directly linked to your ability to forgive. The more you forgive others, the more you forgive yourself, and the more you forgive yourself, the greater your ability to receive love.
Many of us carry immense guilt over our perceived shortcomings, our inability to live up to expectations, or our failures in relationships. We replay mistakes in our minds, punishing ourselves over and over, refusing to believe we deserve kindness or affection.
Forgiving yourself is the ultimate act of self-compassion.
It means accepting your humanity—your flaws, your imperfections, your missteps—and understanding that they don’t diminish your worthiness of love.
Receiving Love Starts with Self-Love
When you forgive yourself, something remarkable happens.
You start to understand that you are, in fact, worthy of love. This is the cornerstone of being able to receive love from others. By loving yourself first, you set the standard for how others should love you.
Self-love is not about arrogance, self-centeredness, or entitlement.
It’s about valuing who you are as a person, flaws and all, and recognizing that you deserve to be treated with care and respect.
When you embrace this truth, you become more open to receiving love from those around you, without questioning or doubting their intentions.
The Cycle of Love
As you learn to receive love, you’ll notice a shift in your relationships.
The people around you will begin to love you in ways you hadn’t thought possible because you are finally allowing them to. Instead of blocking their affection or doubting their motives, you can simply accept it, and by doing so, the love between you and others grows.
When you receive love, you are filling your cup. And when your cup is full, you have more to give back.
This creates a beautiful, self-sustaining cycle where love flows freely in both directions—something that is only possible when you first learn to receive love, not just give it.
Moving Forward: Embracing the Power of Love
In a world where so many people feel disconnected and unloved, learning to receive love may be one of the most revolutionary acts you can commit to.
It requires vulnerability, courage, and a willingness to forgive—not only others but yourself.
If you find yourself struggling to accept love, start by examining your past wounds.
Look to the relationships that have shaped your beliefs about yourself. Once you’ve made peace with them through forgiveness, you’ll be able to open your heart fully.
And remember, love doesn’t come from perfection.
It comes from the simple act of acknowledging that you, as you are right now, are worthy of love—both from yourself and from others.
The truth is, we can only save ourselves.
But in doing so, we open the door for love to enter our lives in ways we never imagined.
With love, yours truly, Cristian, in collaboration with ChatGPT.