I want to talk to you today about that time in your life when you will meet a great person who has been through so much abuse that they can not accept and enjoy a healthy relationship.
You will have to let them go.
It is sad, I know, but you will have to.
As someone who has been through emotional, spiritual, and intellectual abuse and pain, I can tell you, with an open heart, that it is no one’s responsibility to fix me or to be patient with me forever because I can not accept a good thing in my life.
I may not be ready for a good thing in my life—maybe I will never be—and to put that on someone is selfish and toxic, and I have to understand and accept that.
Let them go.
You can only save somebody if they want to save themselves.
I recently met a beautiful woman.
I saw at first that she was a bit guarded, but I said to myself – aren’t we all after a bad breakup, toxic relationship, divorce, or all of the above in one?
After spending some time together, I realized that she was imposing all of her past experiences on me, and that made me feel awful. I constantly questioned myself: What am I doing wrong? How does my behavior make her feel uncomfortable? What am I doing wrong?
It wasn’t me.
Something kept screaming from inside of me: I have not done anything bad to you; why are you making me feel like this?
Let them go!
If someone takes pride in how much they suffered – Let them go!
If someone makes you feel guilty for initiating a healthy interaction and puts the fear of being used on you – Let them go!
If someone makes you question every good intention you may have to the point where you don’t want to initiate anything anymore – Let them go!
You have to understand that with such a person, it comes down to one of the greatest forms of selfishness and ego.
We make the mistake of thinking that ego only goes one way. It doesn’t.
I am the greatest or the worst is selfishness and egoistic because I still make everything about myself. Everything is just about me – my accomplishments or failures, my wins or losses.
Me, me, me, and always me.
Just me.
Ego.
Fuck that.
Let them go.
With love, yours truly, Cristian.