Human interaction and human relationships can be compared to a relationship with a dog or cat. And, of course, there lies a broad spectrum there from the standpoint that not all cats are the same and not all dogs are the same, but at a primitive level, you can compare your interactions with humans with the interaction you have with cats and dogs.
And the thing to note is that if you don’t like animals, you have a higher chance of being antisocial, egocentric, and narcissistic.
This information might be helpful to you; it certainly was and is useful to me.
The next time you interact with the people in your life and the new people you meet, try to analyze them from this perspective.
Is this person more like a cat in the sense that it begs for attention only when it needs something, and as soon as it gets what he or she needs, disappears and the form of the relationship changes in the matter that he or she won’t want you to “pet” them or show discomfort or retraction when you try?
It’s like they say to you: “I came here asking for something, and I paid for that with my presence. My presence near you paid for whatever I needed from you, and now that I got what I wanted or needed, our transaction is concluded, and you don’t get to admire me anymore, and you most certainly don’t get to “pet” me anymore. But don’t worry, I will be back the next time I need or want something, and you’ll have the privilege or the honor to see me, admire me, and pet me again until you give me what I want or need.”
One more thing to note is that cats don’t recognize one particular owner. They ask for attention in the same way from their owner as they do from a stranger. That is not good in marriage. You should ask for attention from the person you are in a relationship with from the perspective of validating them and not from the perspective of a business transaction, and for cats or cat-like people, it is all business and nothing personal.
And from that other perspective, I want you to try to identify the people in your life who are more like dogs. Meaning that all your interactions are from a collaboration and personal standpoint and not from a business deal kind of interaction. Most dogs recognize only one owner and will interact slightly differently with anyone else. The first thing a dog does when you come home is to go and greet you, happy with your return and understanding if you had a bad day and don’t want to cuddle or play. He will give you that space and time to catch your breath and recover, and when you are ready to interact, he will be right there for you without resentment or without being passive-aggressive about the fact that you had a bad day and, most of all, that will make you feel bad and want to apologize and reward his loyalty and understanding.
I feel obligated to add that it is not your business to judge other people, but you must take care of yourself. With that in mind, understand that people are who they are, and it is not your job or responsibility to judge, change, or save them. Still, it is your obligation and responsibility to identify the environment you are in and make the best out of it, and one way to do that is by identifying people who are in your life or walk into your life and manage the time you spend with them and the deepness and complexity of your interaction. I don’t think it’s wise to interact with your husband or wife as you do with your next-door neighbor, let’s say. Jealousy is not a good thing to awaken or tickle in the person you spend your life with.
And now, armed with this new information, I invite you to go out into the world and test it. You will have a lot of fun and be amazed by the results you get.
With love, yours truly, Cristian.