Develop an “unhealthy” obsession for winning.
I used to wake up in the morning and start worrying about money, relationships, health, my job, my family, you name it.
I remember having times when I would start worrying about the position of Mercury in the sky.
Is Mercury in retrograde again? I used to ask myself.
I became so disgusted with that habit that I had to do something about it.
My financial and social position at the time did not offer me the opportunity to win big at something. I was making enough money to get by, from month to month, but nothing more, so going for a month to Bali to recenter my chakras was out of the question.
My social life was nonexistent because I had a demanding job, and being divorced did not help. Between my job, spending time with my daughter, keeping my house at a decent level, and cooking for myself, there was little time to go out with friends and socialize or to meet new people.
Praying.
Praying is free. Praying feeds and nourishes the soul. Praying calms your mind and dissolves all worry.
So, I made prayer the first win of the day.
Instead of waking up and worrying, I now wake up and start praying.
“I am sorry, Lord, for everything I am still doing wrong. Please forgive me for my temper. Forgive me, Lord, for being impatient. Forgive me for not trusting you and your timing. Forgive me for not controlling my tongue.”
“I want to thank you, my Lord, for waking me up and giving me one more day. Thank You for my health. Thank You for my family. Thank You for your guidance and your patience. Thank You for your Love.”
Keep your prayers simple and clear. Mumbling ten trillion complex words that you don’t understand and that you don’t feel in your heart will not do you any good. God knows you; He knows your heart.
Be honest, sincere, and humble when you pray.
First win of the day.
I barely woke up, and I am winning!
And it is not only free but also freeing.
A second place where you can win every day is the gym.
Going to the gym is not free, but it is not expensive either. I know you don’t have the proper close to impress anyone in there with your outfit. I know you don’t have a good body, and I know genetics is not on your side.
But you are not in there to impress anyone. You are in there to win. Black T-shirt, black pants, black towel, black socks and black shoes. Simple, decent, comfortable, and efficient.
You don’t go to the gym to impress anyone. You go there with an exercise plan in mind, and you do a bit more every day. You outwork your workout plan every day—not by much. You planned to do ten reps on the chest bench, but you did eleven. You planned to walk ten minutes on the treadmill, but you ended up walking fifteen.
You’ll walk out of that gym every day with a smile on your face, feeling like a winner.
The third simple win you can bag is being aware of what you eat, when you eat it, and how you eat it.
We live in such a fast-paced world that we feel like we no longer have time for a proper meal—eating a hamburger while driving and screaming at traffic is normal for us. Or I got to the point where it was normal for me.
Not anymore.
I came to the realization that if I don’t have time to sit down at a table and enjoy a meal, it’s my problem and my fault.
I don’t eat while I am driving anymore. I don’t answer my phone while I am eating. I don’t play with my daughter while I am eating. I don’t think about all my problems while I am eating.
When I eat, I focus on my food and its taste, and I enjoy my meal.
Once I started focusing on my meals and eating properly at a table like a human being, I started noticing what I was eating.
Questions started popping into my mind: Why am I eating this junk? How do I feel after I finish this meal?
It’s funny how after you start focusing and enjoying your meals, you automatically start eating healthier.
Eating healthier and enjoying your meals also makes you lose weight faster and gives you more energy, which helps you with your gym. So you can count this as two wins in one.
My next win comes from my interactions. I don’t allow people to complain to me without giving me at least a solution they thought of for every problem they pointed out.
I am not your emotional, spiritual, or intellectual garbage can where you can come and dump all your problems, real or imagined.
I understand that life is hard and that we all have problems. I understand that your problems matter most to you and are the greatest because they are yours. But I refuse to listen to you complain aimlessly for one hour about something without giving me at least one solution you thought of to your problem.
If you have a significant problem and do not have the decency to think about at least one solution, as stupid as it may seem, it means you don’t want to fix your problem; you want my attention, time, and energy.
You are not a human in need of answers and solutions. You are an energy vampire, and I don’t want to deal with you.
First, when I started implementing this habit, people told me I was mean and heartless. They told me I was cold, insensitive, selfish, and unloving.
Now, after they got used to my boundaries and the fact that I am not their therapist or priest, they tell me that I am the most positive and optimistic person they know because I always help them see the bright side.
I must tell you that I am the same person. What changed is that I have boundaries, and the people in my life now know that I don’t allow any negativity in my interactions. So now, when they interact with me, they bring themselves to a different place.
They think that I am helping them or giving them something. I am not. They do everything for themselves just by changing their view of the world when they are around me because they know I will call them out on it, and they will feel uncomfortable around me if they start complaining and being negative just to get some attention.
Showing and enforcing your boundaries is a beautiful thing.
Now, most of my interactions with the people in my life are uplifting, energizing, and inspiring.
Boundaries is the name of this win.
The next win I get under my belt daily is doing an excellent job of everything I do. I focus on whatever I am doing and do a good job of it.
If I am washing the dishes, I am doing an excellent job of it. If I am vacuuming my house, I am doing the best I can. When I iron my clothes, I am doing a good job. When I clean my shoes, I am doing a good job. When I fold my clothes, I am doing my best.
And so on.
I am not half-assing anything.
If I have a terrible day, am tired, and half-ass anything, I always go back and fix it until I feel at peace with myself.
Everything you find in this text can be done wherever you are in your life, and if you are not doing it, it means you are lazy and you don’t actually want to improve your life.
You may say you want to improve it, but you don’t.
Winning is simple.
Winning is a habit you can develop.
Winning is addictive.
Winning is possible wherever you are!
Period.
With love, yours truly, Cristian.