Negative, Nelly or Nancy, take your pick.
Don’t you just love them?
Yup, me neither!
This is a topic I thought long and hard about because I have a negative Nelly in my close circle, which I can not avoid or ignore.
For me, my negative Nelly is my mother. May God bless her soul and give her health, wisdom, and a long life.
My mother can see ten thousand different things going wrong with any idea I present to her. She can tell me in detail what and how I will do wrong in two years if I follow any plan I might have.
Having such a person in your life can be challenging, disappointing, and maybe even hurting at some level if they are close to you. Small-minded, negative people can ruin any plan, and they can also ruin your entire life if you let them.
But, having such a person in your life can also have some upsides.
One of the benefits of having such a person in your life is that you can use them to show you flaws in your perspective and your plan.
Another great benefit is that they teach you unconsciously who to trust and how much to share when it comes to your core values or your plans for the future.
So, you might ask, how do you get from allowing such a person to bring you down and ruin your plans to using such a person to your advantage?
Well, my friend, you do it by growing the fuck up and by being an adult.
The negative Nellys or Nancys in your life can only ruin your plans if you are unsure of your plans and perspective and you still expect outside validation to take a first step, just like a child would.
I don’t want to mention the excuse you use for not trying. I can hear you from here: “My mommy is such a negative Nelly, and she just destroys all my plans.”
Well, Steve, you are 45. Maybe you should make a decision and then act on it without asking your mother for validation, a pet on the head, and a cookie.
Come on, Steve.
It is time to cut the umbilical cord, Steve.
Make your own decisions and fail on your own terms.
Every failure brings new data and experience. Better data and experience lead to better decisions, which, in turn, leads to better results.
One thing to note here is that every failure will feed the negative Nelly because negative Nellys and Nancys love to see other people fail.
Negative people tend to be happier about other people’s failures than they are about their own success. Which is kind of heartbreaking when you think about it.
Imagine getting happier for the weeds growing in your neighbor’s garden than for the beautiful flowers growing in yours.
Sad, right?
Are you taking notes, Steve?
In no time at all, you’ll find yourself being a confident adult who uses negative Nellys to your advantage.
Inviting them to lunch and asking for advice so you may learn what not to do.
Trust me, it’s doable!
With love, yours truly, Cristian.