I have learned a really valuable lesson recently, and I want to share it with you.
But first, let me give you an introduction to help you get my point.
While at the gym, I ran into an old friend whom I hadn’t seen in quite some time. It must have been years, if I am honest with you.
We started talking, you know, the usual chit-chat about life, family, jobs, food, and even the weather at one point.
After catching up, he started telling me about a situation that happened to him in 2010. Thirteen years ago. I just listened and nodded politely. The intensity with which he told that story took me back like a time machine to 2010. After he was done, I was so charged up that I almost told him let’s go and solve it together right now. I am here to help you. Let’s go!
But we couldn’t do that because thirteen years passed. What happened back in 2010 is never going to change.
Forgiveness.
His story was about the fact that someone lied in court about seeing him do something illegal, and as a consequence, my friend got four years in prison instead of a slap on the wrist and probation. He did his time. Four years in jail.
Whether he was right or not is beside the point.
What I want to point out is something that hit me later that day. My friend never forgave the person who wronged him. And after thirteen years, he still lives the same event like it happened yesterday as a consequence of that.
But the most painful thing I saw in his eyes was the fact that he never forgave himself for being in that situation in the first place. Deep down, he knows he could have avoided the whole incident by just not being in that place at that time, and that hurts him more than the lying witness or the time in prison ever could.
Forgive yourself hit me in my forehead and lighted up in my frontal cortex like a lightbulb.
Forgive yourself for not being a good child, a good husband or wife, a good grandchild, a good friend, a good parent, a good colleague, or even a good human being.
Forgive yourself and let yourself move on.
You deserve it, and you also owe it to yourself.
There are two commandments in the Bible that are given by Jesus Christ Himself, and you find them in Matthew 22:37–39: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. “This is the first and great commandment. “And the second is like unto it, Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself.”
You’ll never love thy neighbor if you don’t love yourself.
You’ll never forgive your trespassers if you don’t forgive yourself.
If you are waiting for permission to do that, here it is. You have it from me. If you need a sign to do it, this is it. This is the sign you waited for.
Forgive yourself, beautiful human, and move on because if you don’t, you’ll become and stay bitter, unhappy, and unpleasant to be around. You don’t want that. Life is too short for that.
You need you, and we all need you too.
Romans 12:21 – “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Big hug!
With love, yours truly, Cristian.