I had an argument with my parents that lasted for about a week. I don’t mean we argued for a week constantly. We had two arguments on two different days, and then we just spoke on the phone, distant and monosyllabic.
Throughout the week, the situation kept popping into my mind, and I dissected it as well as I could and decided that I don’t see things the way they do.
To dissolve the weird energy between us, I decided to visit them and address the whole situation to explain to them that I don’t see the situation in the way that they do, respect their opinion, and forgive them for everything hurtful that they may have said.
By the way, this is not the point of the story.
The point of the story is that it took a lot of work for me to open the discussion. First, I thought it was hard because I was ashamed of their shame. They said some things a parent should not say to his child, regardless of age. But after I opened the discussion, I realized it was not shame. It was a weird form of fear. A fear I would not be understood. I felt that the debate had no point because they would not understand anyway, and it did not matter if they understood because I had moved on.
After the talk and everybody said what had to be said, we had the best lunch. This discussion established me as an adult in front of them even though I’m 37 years old. We all gained so much out of that courage to expose myself and have the uncomfortable talk that had to take place.
The other thing I realized is that even though you may forgive someone from the bottom of your heart, they might remain stuck because they don’t forgive themselves for what they did or said to you. So don’t expect the conflict to dissolve because you forgave the other person. The interaction will remain charged and weird if they don’t forgive themselves.
Do you have something to say, and you are not saying it? Do you have something to say to someone that is eating you alive from the inside? Better muster up the courage and say it. Because if you dare to expose yourself in that discussion, no matter the outcome, you will be freed from the things you need to say, and you will grow instantly as a human being.
Face everything and rise!
When you have a daily relationship with God, He gives you courage and peace because you know deep down that no matter the outcome, you are going to be alright.
No matter what comes, you are good!
You are set!
With Him, you don’t lose or fail.
With Him, you win, or you learn!
With love, yours truly, Cristian.