I want to talk about relationships for a minute so that I can share a new perspective on the subject with you.
First of all, human beings are social creatures by nature, so relationships are a need we all have.
A recent study states that the chances of either of us being born are 1 in 400 trillion ( this is how that number looks like – 400,000,000,000,000 ).
Those ods refer to you, me, your mom, your dad, your grandma, your grandpa, your children, your friends, your coworkers, and so on.
We are over 7 billion people living together at this moment on this planet. The chances of our paths crossing, and meeting each other, are less than one percent.
In all this mind-blowing equation, some people dare to say that some relationships are 50 – 50. Such a relationship does not exist. No relationship is fifty-fifty.
There was a beautiful human being, Arsenie Papacioc – who was an orthodox monk and a priest that said that the dynamic of the relationship with God is in such a way that you give your will, and you get, in return – power, strength, clarity, and courage to do the right thing. You provide will, and you get power. That is not fifty-fifty, and you are the one who needs to make the first step and keep doing it forever. Please don’t ask why because it’s obvious and evident.
In the relationship with your parents. They gave you life. What could you give in return so you can feel that you are even with them? I’m not naive; I know some parents are better than others. I understand that some parents stayed and some left. I know some give love and protection, while others give beatings and emotional trauma. But before all that, they gave you the gift of life. Whatever you do, you will never be even with them.
I’m not going to talk about relationships with other family members like siblings or friendship relationships because the post will get too long, and I trust that you will get what you need from reading this, and you can figure those out on your own.
Right. Love and marriage. I’m going to put love and marriage together because, in my opinion, a beautiful, healthy, and loving relationship makes the natural transition to marriage. Why? Because marriage is an entity you and another human being get to give life to. Because marriage is something you get the privilege to build and protect. Because marriage is a blessing, you get to share with someone while you grow old together. To state just a few reasons beyond the more obvious ones.
Marriage is not fifty-fifty because it is not a business deal or should not be one. To create a healthy and beautiful marriage, you need to become a conscious giver, and you need to find someone who wants to do the same thing.
Let me explain.
In this world, there are three kinds of people. There are givers, 50-50 people, and takers. A recent study shows that the people who win at life are the ones who give consciously eight times out of ten. The ones that say YES, 80% of the time and say NO, 20% of the time. That 20% may look small, but it seems to be the perfect ratio. Now, I am sure I don’t have to explain to you that saying NO is one of the most important things you need to learn in life if you haven’t already.
So, my friend. Give with love what you have. Give your will to God. Give some time to yourself so you can improve and become better for yourself and for those around you. And learn to make your NO clear, definite, and final!
Apart from all that, learn to trust the process, and you will have a long and beautiful life.
With love, yours truly, Cristian.